


Bring Him Back to Me

by nokingbutme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ficlet, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, post 15x18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27506230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nokingbutme/pseuds/nokingbutme
Summary: “Knowing you has changed me,” Castiel said, the urgency of his voice doing nothing to mask the pain in his eyes as the significance of Cas’ words knocked the wind out of Dean’s lungs, “Let me save you one last time.”And in the end, it was an angel’s love for humanity, his defiance even in the face of God himself, that made Dean believe that maybe not everything they touched was bound to turn to ash, that there was a point to all of it that went beyond God’s plan for them.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Bring Him Back to Me

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a little something I just needed to get out of my system after 15x18. I took some minor liberties regarding Castiel’s speech, but this is mainly just me being self-indulgent and sappy.

If there was one thing that Dean Winchester knew for certain, that one truth at the back of his mind, lingering, waiting, then it was the unwavering belief that no matter what was going to happen, no matter how many times they bested death, came apart and were put together again, a Winchester just wasn’t meant to die of old age. After being told for so long that everyone around them, every person they ever loved, were doomed, that the path they were on would always and inevitably lead to more destruction and loss, Dean eventually had no other choice but to believe it himself.

“Knowing you has changed me,” Castiel said, the urgency of his voice doing nothing to mask the pain in his eyes as the significance of Cas’ words knocked the wind out of Dean’s lungs, “Let me save you one last time.” And in the end, it was an angel’s love for humanity, his defiance even in the face of God himself, that made Dean believe that maybe not everything they touched was bound to turn to ash, that there was a point to all of it that went beyond God’s plan for them.

They told their own story, they fought against all odds until the very end. But knowing how stories come to be, they couldn’t only consist of an intriguing beginning and a main part with all of its dark and dangerous twists, no – every story had to end somewhere. And thus it came to no surprise that after a tale such as this, there were not enough pages left for a happy ending.

Or so they thought as they buried what remained of Castiel: A blue tie, neatly folded and secure inside a small wooden box, slowly disappearing under cold, dark earth at the foot of a birch tree. There would have been a point when Dean would still have argued about this decision, desperately clinging to that last bit of hope that had urged him to take the trench coat with them on that fateful day after Cas had disappeared into the lake, storing it in the trunk of the Impala, just in case. But now, after everything, Dean just didn’t have enough fight left in him to object when Sam softly pried the worn material from between his clenched fingers.  
***  
When the velvety darkness embraced him, Castiel could hear words ringing inside his head, echoing inside his skull. “It’s over,” the voice said, “you fought well. You can rest now.” And in part, this was true. Castiel’s ending was exactly how he expected it to be, a sacrifice worthy of its name. He got the chance to speak his truth, and when the three little words fell from his lips, so did the weight off his shoulders. After all, there was peace in knowing you died saving the ones you loved.

It felt different, though. Not being able to take hold of that connection anymore, to Earth, to his little family. To Dean and his prayers. Would Dean still pray to him, knowing Cas wouldn’t be able to answer? How many times would Dean close his eyes and call out the angel’s name? Begging, pleading for a sign, anything to give him hope. That Cas might still be out there. That his angel could be saved. And considering everything that was left unsaid between them, didn’t Dean deserve peace as well?

_I saw Death's face today  
As he led my friend away  
So I'll ask who I gotta pay  
To bring him back, bring him back to me_

But when Dean gripped him tight, saving him from the all-encompassing darkness, there was no time for words. Not that Dean could have thought of anything that would do his feelings justice. The moment he could feel the familiar fabric of the trench coat underneath his hands, the way it wrinkled between his fingers when he dug his nails in Castiel’s back, forehead against shoulder, never letting go again. That was when Dean found peace.

“Cas,” Dean gasped, and it wasn’t until Castiel cradled Dean’s head in his hands that Dean realised that he was just repeating the angel’s name like a prayer, scared that if he stopped Castiel would just disappear again.

“Cas, I-“ everything he wanted to say, words he had been turning around in his head all this time, they were all so clear in his head, but he didn’t even know where to start. He felt like he was still in the same spot where Castiel had left him, lost and helpless, because now he got a second chance to tell the angel everything he needed to say, but the words just wouldn’t come out.

“I’m here, Dean.” Castiel whispered, gripping him tighter, and like he knew, he added, “We got all the time in the world now.” And he was right.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics: Parkway Drive - The Colour of Leaving


End file.
